Baby Jesus @JCautomatic
I once donated some sperm. The man shaking the charity bucket was not impressed though. The North Joined November 2010-
Tweets33K
-
Followers12K
-
Following253
-
Likes9K
@Eamontron Just this morning actually, grandchildren now. FML
1
0
1
25
0
View Details
Not been on here a while but I’ve just released my new single “The Kid” open.spotify.com/track/6kRv8E3o…
@My_Metro Hi, what time does lost property close at South Gosforth please?
@aitcheyepepewhy Try 39 different characters a day mate. I’m like Wurzel Gummidge that’s run out of heads!
Hi @SharonHorgan and @robdelaney I heard Rob on the radio this morning, and it’s really inspired me to get my arse in gear and the script I’ve always wanted to. As a barber I have a zillion characters and the darkest of humour. So thank you.
@keeftoon @SharonHorgan @robdelaney *edit (not better than a psychologist)
@keeftoon @SharonHorgan @robdelaney I will mate. 35 years stood behind a Barber’s chair. (Albeit mine) will serve me well. I can read people better than a psychologist. I can tell the perfidious through the corner of my eye. Even by their walk!
@aitcheyepepewhy Most people are actually “method actors” depending on the situation.
@aitcheyepepewhy That’s the crux of my script. Your expectations of people (especially as a barber) NEVER live up to the people they really are. Most people give you a synopsis in a 20 minute haircut, but not is all as it seems……
@Gavoth They were on price match to be fair and the amount of biscuits per gram was better value with the Malted Milks.
Just made myself a “Southgate” for supper.
youtu.be/MXWl1Y4brx0?si… A long lost friend’s son. This is unreal!!!!
Baby Jesus retweeted
Morrisons Ultimate Breakfast review accompanied by a sad piccolo flute.
Probably the best band in the world right now. New single. Think they’ve already won. open.spotify.com/album/4gdlAYu8…
@nibbledbyducks Perhaps it was undertaking.
Moose Allain Ꙭ @MooseAllain
121K Followers 2K Following He/him. Illustrator, cartoonist, husband, father, son, brother, uncle, nephew, cousin, second cousin, grandson, friend, acquaintance, enemy. @[email protected]
GlennyRodge @GlennyRodge
24K Followers 1K Following Screenwriter, comedian, actor, socialist and model. These are words. As are custard, trumpet, wardrobe, trousers and dandelion.
Amanda @Pandamoanimum
93K Followers 680 Following Welcome to my head. Please excuse the mess. Also on Bluesky: https://t.co/TOrnVfkzQ1 Threads: https://t.co/pmlQc89QB5
Neil @_Enanem_
13K Followers 473 Following Good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good double, double good.
Craig Deeley 🇪🇺... @craiguito
18K Followers 6K Following I do stand-up and tweet silly things. My podcast Trish of the Day out now, link below.
joe heenan @joeheenan
57K Followers 2K Following Award losing stand up comedian. Co host of Stu & Joe's Big Dumb Film Show. Subscribe here https://t.co/Ts0zTiHNI9
Pundamentalism @Pundamentalism
90K Followers 920 Following Puns don't kill people. Writer. DM for work enquiries.
Mitten d'Amour @MittenDAmour
20K Followers 420 Following I once bought a cold drink for a tramp on a hot day - turns out he wasn’t a secret millionaire; total fucking waste of 80p. (She/her)
cargo pants are a hat... @mostly_grumpy
6K Followers 699 Following It's almost certain your activist mock outrage would be fuck all use on a desert island. Go and sit over there with the other people we're going to eat.
Nick Harvey @mrnickharvey
51K Followers 753 Following I write music for TV so you don’t have to. Baskerville’s dad. Paul’s son. Ember’s accompanist.
Tokyo Sexwhale @tokyosexwhale
19K Followers 907 Following IIllustrator | Commissions: [email protected]
Bacardi Oakheart @Midgetgems26
6K Followers 738 Following A husband, a father, a philosopher, a music lover, a bell end. Your one stop shop for the destruction of mainstream thought.
Summer Ray @SummerRay
31K Followers 1K Following voiceover/writer/illustrator/absolute joke. https://t.co/nwwRcZusqj
Miranda Keeling @MirandaKeeling
26K Followers 474 Following Author. Actor. Observer of everyday life. Buy my new book: https://t.co/aACmVRcO8l Book launch: https://t.co/It0hRTN81C
Mahinth Joe @mahinthjoe
2K Followers 5K Following Building institutional knowledge I Tenderfoot weird 1 of a kind F;) serve & be prosperous Student Forever Fallor Ergo Sum Wabi-sabi h=r/e He/Him/His
Alex Chapman @AlexChapma92004
121 Followers 2K Following
🇺🇸ASS @betosanc
6K Followers 7K Following When you are dead, you don’t know that you are dead. it is difficult only for others. It is the same when you are stupid.
SarcyJ @SarcyJ3409
3 Followers 98 Following views are not my own ( mostly copied, robbed or permanently borrowed on a temporary basis)
pokerface @mrandyrogers1
24 Followers 199 Following
Coach T @TvrdyJoe
127 Followers 206 Following
RogueBunny @RogueBunny
230 Followers 102 Following
Northern Observer @08Northerner15
61 Followers 377 Following
Michael Lennon @MichaelLen92898
19 Followers 231 Following Irish blood English heart, Roman Catholic. Second cousin of John Lennon.
Michael @minealone6
3K Followers 4K Following Likes -Pizza, Chili, Nachos, pumping Iron, a good cigar, a bad cigar, Traveling, Cats, Candy -specially Snickers, old Popeye cartoons, cookies and milk, hotdogs
Toasue @Toasueo4Y
6 Followers 231 Following
Michael Lennon @MickLennon97508
90 Followers 478 Following Roman Catholic, monkey Hanger, Irish blood English heart, Erasure. West Hartlepool, Liverpool and Belmullet County Mayo.
Alison Patton @AlisonPatt32085
0 Followers 41 Following
. @soundslikeem
352 Followers 1K Following
Stuart Coghlan @stuartwickow
35 Followers 229 Following
Ruffey1 @Ruffey_1
948 Followers 7K Following 💰Hillcrest 🪞🐶 🎒🌳 Naomi Osaka Moore 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🇱🇷🇯🇵🇨🇳🐦🔥 #8 or #3 Ozone 🙂↕️🙂↔️ 🏆🏟️
Surendar Uncle @Uncle_Surendar
2 Followers 101 Following
Stacy Roland @StrawBerlicous7
1 Followers 61 Following
Michael Lennon @MichaelPoo73989
73 Followers 384 Following Monkey Hanger, Hartlepool Utd. Erasure. Roman Catholic. Irish blood, English heart. Flexographic printer. Climate change is the biggest scam/hoax in the world.
Katharine @Kathari73135900
0 Followers 84 Following
Matty @bestestname
17K Followers 6K Following Twitter is easy. You just have to be funny all the time or no one will love you.
CAPTAINSWERVYNERVES @CTODDMCCORMICK2
243 Followers 2K Following HELPING GOOD THINGS HAPPEN TO NICE PEOPLE
JKNenagh @jkenne3
5 Followers 51 Following
Jeremy Bone @JeremyRBone
84 Followers 3K Following
Jim Fischer @jphf123456
82 Followers 227 Following Nothing much of interest here. I take a few pics when I'm out and about. North East England resident from Cumbria.
H @H19835049
11 Followers 227 Following
Lee Jones @LeeJones10000
2K Followers 3K Following
mushroom @ivelinahh
5 Followers 72 Following I shall construct a labyrinth in which I can lose myself together with anyone who tries to find me.
Cavedweller444 @Cavedweller4441
5 Followers 444 Following
jason Vogel @jjv9072
18 Followers 251 Following
Robert Krenke @Krenkekinder
399 Followers 1K Following Human, Male, Father, Coach, Teacher, Activist, Trekkie, and so much more...
Ali Buswell @all_als_taken
7 Followers 182 Following
Kevin Sweet @KevinSwitter
566 Followers 7K Following Full Autonomy of Body and Mind for All - Humanity detests Dehumanization - externally validate your internal experience! https://t.co/AX5bigYJn9👍❤️
PlanA @Cryptowags3
166 Followers 539 Following I block all Asian women that attempt to follow me. Future bitcoin 2022 crash survivor. Bitcoin Minnow's Club. 69k bag holder.
Moose Allain Ꙭ @MooseAllain
121K Followers 2K Following He/him. Illustrator, cartoonist, husband, father, son, brother, uncle, nephew, cousin, second cousin, grandson, friend, acquaintance, enemy. @[email protected]
GlennyRodge @GlennyRodge
24K Followers 1K Following Screenwriter, comedian, actor, socialist and model. These are words. As are custard, trumpet, wardrobe, trousers and dandelion.
Amanda @Pandamoanimum
93K Followers 680 Following Welcome to my head. Please excuse the mess. Also on Bluesky: https://t.co/TOrnVfkzQ1 Threads: https://t.co/pmlQc89QB5
Neil @_Enanem_
13K Followers 473 Following Good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good double, double good.
Craig Deeley 🇪🇺... @craiguito
18K Followers 6K Following I do stand-up and tweet silly things. My podcast Trish of the Day out now, link below.
joe heenan @joeheenan
57K Followers 2K Following Award losing stand up comedian. Co host of Stu & Joe's Big Dumb Film Show. Subscribe here https://t.co/Ts0zTiHNI9
Pundamentalism @Pundamentalism
90K Followers 920 Following Puns don't kill people. Writer. DM for work enquiries.
Mitten d'Amour @MittenDAmour
20K Followers 420 Following I once bought a cold drink for a tramp on a hot day - turns out he wasn’t a secret millionaire; total fucking waste of 80p. (She/her)
cargo pants are a hat... @mostly_grumpy
6K Followers 699 Following It's almost certain your activist mock outrage would be fuck all use on a desert island. Go and sit over there with the other people we're going to eat.
Nick Harvey @mrnickharvey
51K Followers 753 Following I write music for TV so you don’t have to. Baskerville’s dad. Paul’s son. Ember’s accompanist.
Tokyo Sexwhale @tokyosexwhale
19K Followers 907 Following IIllustrator | Commissions: [email protected]
Bacardi Oakheart @Midgetgems26
6K Followers 738 Following A husband, a father, a philosopher, a music lover, a bell end. Your one stop shop for the destruction of mainstream thought.
Summer Ray @SummerRay
31K Followers 1K Following voiceover/writer/illustrator/absolute joke. https://t.co/nwwRcZusqj
Street Life in North ... @NTStreetLife
1K Followers 826 Following A new independent organisation focused on campaigning for safer, better streets in North Tyneside, for streets full of life.
Brooklyn Brewery UK @BklynBreweryUK
3K Followers 575 Following Award-winning flavourful beers. Inspired by Brooklyn and brewed for all. Drink responsibly! Don't forward our content to under 18s. https://t.co/psq0pYHTij
The Bucket Playlist @PlaylistBucket
6K Followers 7K Following The Bucket Playlist - chasing the ultimate playlist! Music and interviews: https://t.co/6vspEFFPWe
Dr Jordan B Peterson @jordanbpeterson
6.2M Followers 2K Following Best-Selling Author | Clinical Psychologist | #1 Education Podcast | Co-founder of @petersonacademy | Order my new book "We Who Wrestle With God" here:
Jim Fischer @jphf123456
82 Followers 227 Following Nothing much of interest here. I take a few pics when I'm out and about. North East England resident from Cumbria.
Fesshole🧻 @fesshole
1.0M Followers 474 Following Confess your sins anon - will the internet absolve you? ADD FESS https://t.co/nlr7P7crme LIVE SHOW TICKETS https://t.co/OBRqMIHFJk
No Context Brits @NoContextBrits
1.8M Followers 0 Following A “mordant celebration of British mediocrity” according to the Washington Post. Contains sarcasm, irony and context. Blocked by John Cleese.
Rickshaw Theatre @RickshawTheatre
6K Followers 1K Following @RickshawTheatre is one of Vancouver's premier music and arts venues. We're Located in the heart of Vancouver's historic Chinatown. https://t.co/cmhWMNOTg3
O2 Academy Bristol @O2AcademyBris
21K Followers 567 Following Bright new acts and iconic headliners. Est. 2001
mudhoney @mudhoney
23K Followers 106 Following Mark Arm, Steve Turner, Dan Peters & Guy Maddison. Tweets by @sebharp EVERY GOOD BOY DESERVES FUDGE 30th anniversary OUT NOW: https://t.co/rl8iXThzXN
Keith Edwards 🚨 �... @FabrizioFormag
1K Followers 0 Following North of England Football Writer for North Publications #EPL #PremierLeague
Kendal Calling Info @inthefieldsLIVE
9K Followers 265 Following If you're joining us in the fields for @kendalcalling please follow this official onsite twitter account for all essential info. See you in the fields!
BBC Glastonbury @bbcglasto
97K Followers 1K Following Glastonbury Festival 2023 takes place between June 21st - 25th. Watch and listen to the festival live, only on the BBC via @bbciplayer and @bbcsounds.
easyJet @easyJet
566K Followers 7K Following We’re here to help from 8am to 8pm GMT. You can also visit our online Help Hub here: https://t.co/Y3IbdcInAX ⚠️This is our only Twitter account.
Secretglasto @secretglasto
94K Followers 94 Following
Out Of Context Snooke... @OOCSnooker
43K Followers 168 Following Snooker images and videos tweeted with no context. Follow for funny content! #OOCSnooker #CueAction
Rage Against The Mach... @RATMofficial
93K Followers 0 Following Rage Against The Machine formed in LA in the early '90s: vocalist Zack de la Rocha; guitarist Tom Morello; drummer Brad Wilk; and bassist Tim C.
𝘄𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 ... @wouldLTM
412 Followers 461 Following Who would YOU like to meet? Send photo of you or a friend & for £12 I’ll draw a shonky pic of you alongside person of your choice. https://t.co/ys4zDHEO3b
Peaky Blinders @ThePeakyBlinder
857K Followers 437 Following Official account of #PeakyBlinders. On @BBC and @Netflix. Peaky Blinders: The Immortal Man in select cinemas Mar 6th and on @Netflix Mar 20th.
Kerry Roffe @AGITHuk
1K Followers 1K Following glass and ceramics student. Owner of a massive cat and a photobombing dog. loves inappropriate clothing for a 50-something and red wine
James Timpson @JamesTCobbler
180K Followers 1K Following CEO of Timpson Group, believer in second chances, kindness and ethical capitalism.
O2 City Hall Newcastl... @O2CityHall
18K Followers 805 Following Bringing the noise, the passion, the feeling of belonging. Est. 1928
Rob Burrow CBE @Rob7Burrow
182K Followers 2K Following Legacy account of Rob Burrow CBE. Posts by the Burrow family and in support of the MND community.
Ed Brown @edbroown
17 Followers 163 Following
Clare Breedon @ClareBreedon
3K Followers 4K Following Oh well this is difficult... I love funny Twitter, I empathise with serious Twitter. I’m a sucker for a good cause and I absolutely hate injustice of any kind.
Rach @RachaelvsWorld
10K Followers 537 Following All of these opinions are yours and nothing to do with me
The Gig Stories Podca... @GigStoriesPod
610 Followers 396 Following A celebration of gigs, venues, festivals and the live music experience - hosted by @alexwinterstv and @xtofallabout.
Foo Fighters @foofighters
3.4M Followers 12K Following Rock band Your Favorite Toy Out Now!!! Take Cover Tour On Sale Now!
Jonnie Irwin @jonnieirwin
23K Followers 496 Following Escape To The Country, A Place In The Sun. Commercial Director of @judicaregroup. Also on https://t.co/KOSUSp26ep
Aniefiok 'Neef' Ekpou... @AniefiokEkp
8K Followers 1K Following Writer | Where We Come From: Rap, Home & Hope in Modern Britain 🇬🇧 is out now @Faberbooks | Rep’d by @Emf1nn | #Forbes30under30
Dan Carter @DanCarter
532K Followers 589 Following Former @AllBlacks 🇳🇿 @adidas international athlete. @glorious_digi. Ambassador @unicefnz
FOUNTAINHEAD @FountainheadOff
5 Followers 3 Following From the mind of Charity Founder & Author Stephen Wylie..... Creativity in the form of true Vegan beliefs, with strong Punk and Indie influences.
Crap Portraits @Crap_Portraits
7K Followers 697 Following Not intentionally Crap, just talent-less. Commissions as presents for people you hate. also on Bluesky https://t.co/dU7Hz0pIyK
BritishMasterBarbers @UKMasterBarbers
11K Followers 5K Following The British Master Barbers Alliance aims to support, promote and showcase the best of British barbering. Join today via our website.
MHFed & The HairFED -... @TheMHFed
5K Followers 99 Following In partnership with @cityandguilds Helping To Facilitate Hairdressing And Barbering Education. In-House, In-Class & On-line. Art Teams #hairFED #MHFED
British Barbers @BritishBarbers
11K Followers 3K Following The British Barbers' Association is dedicated to offering support, advice & a range of products & services exclusively to barbers in the UK.
Victoria Fox | Best R... @BestRecipesUK
175K Followers 74K Following Delicious and easy-to-follow recipes for food lovers.
Tyne and Wear Metro @My_Metro
144K Followers 828 Following Real time travel updates. Page monitored day and night. Abusive tweets will not be tolerated. https://t.co/qMRHtXMS2g
PIXIES @PIXIES
286K Followers 139 Following Band formed in 1986 in Boston, Massachusetts. Management: [email protected] Official: @MrBlackFrancis @JoeySantiago
RenQ Finance @RenQFlnance
12K Followers 810 Following RenQ connects all blockchains & establish a cross-chain asset exchange network, providing all necessary support for the DeFi ecosystem.
GlastoInfo @GlastoInfo
36K Followers 25 Following This account is no longer active. Please head to Info Points on site and the Glastonbury website for all the answers to your questions.You might like
cluedont
@cluedont
60K Followers
Pundamentalism
@Pundamentalism
90K Followers
Moose Allain Ꙭ
@MooseAllain
121K Followers
𝗧𝘄𝗼𝗽 𝗧...
@TwopTwips
143K Followers
Nick Harvey
@mrnickharvey
51K Followers
Robin Flavell
@RobinFlavell
16K Followers
paul bassett davies
@thewritertype
25K Followers
Neil
@_Enanem_
13K Followers
Cap'n Ben Homewood
@capnbobfrapples
4K Followers
Marty Lawrence
@TeaAndCopy
10K Followers