Peep Show Script @PeepScript
I'm a bot tweeting the script of Channel 4/Netflix comedy Peep Show from start to finish. Currently on Season 5 Episode 1: Burgling github.com/matt-daniells/… Joined May 2019-
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Mark: (What's funnier, zero bonus or, like, a humiliating £103? Both are very funny.)
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Mark: I'm head of a team that contains people of your level. I'm certainly your superior, let's leave it at that. I'm on your remuneration committee, so fingers crossed for that bonus, Jeff.
Jeff: You're not me boss, Mark. Stop calling yourself me boss.
Mark: Not too busy to check in with your boss.
Mark: (Out with the artificial limb, the salary man keyboard. In with the dominator, the Death Star. Yeah, Dobby, I'll summon her in later. Er, Dobby, I seem to be having a server problem. Could you have a fiddle? I think the problem is in my pants.) Oh, Jeff!
[Mark takes his new keyboard to his office]
Mark: (At some point he's going to find out what goes in sausages.)
Jeremy: Well, no, not everyone, 'cause if it's exclusive, then... Oh my God. It's wheels within wheels. I've been invited inside with the bean counters and the water boarders.
Mark: Exactly, Jeremy, you'll be just like an actor, like Al Pacino or Jeremy Irons. Just tell everyone you call up "hello, you've been specially selected as eligible for our exclusive introductory interest rate."
Jeremy: There's a script? So I'll be, like, an actor?
Mark: Yeah, so you'll just be following the cold-calling script.
Jeremy: Cool. [He sits down in the chair] Whoa, it's tippy, I've got a tippy chair.
Mark: So this is it, Jeremy, the field of screams. Colin will be in in ten, but I think this'll be your... area.
[At the JLB offices, Mark shows Jeremy his desk]
Mark: (Think she spotted it. Just, yeah, that's right, sweetheart. Ergonomic management keyboard.)
Jeremy: Got a system. (The maestro, magically made her think of me naked. He didn't even clock her, tragic.)
Mark: But how? Your bed's on the other side of the room.
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